19 October 2015
I'm Not So Happy. Lessons from Memphis, part one.
I sat on Marco's porch, each of us with a fencepost in our hands.
"Mifis, why you never smile? You drinkin' wit me, sittin' here doin' nothin', and all straight face 'n shit. What's up your ass all the time?"
"I'm just not one of those happy people Marco."
"What the fu..." He shakes his head at me. "Happiness ain't shit. It's just somethin' rich people buy, like a new face or a big boat or a hard dick with pills and shit. What the fuck does happiness has to do with your straight ass face"? "Fuck, I ain't never been happy, I ain't ever known happy. 'Bout every motherfucker walked my way 'as pissed in my grits. And I smile every goddamn place I go."
"If you're not happy, why do you smile Marco?"
Marco makes his big eyes at me, his face still, shaking his head at me without shaking it. He takes a long draught of Busch.
"Mifis, you ever rebuked a demon?"
"No, but I've seen one rebuked."
"What that demon do by you?"
"It terrified me."
"You know what terrifies demons, Mifis?"
"What's that, Marco?"
"Laughing at them. And thanking God for this."
"What this? What is this, Marco?"
Marco's perpetual smile expanded to full sail. He shook his head at me.
"You damn fool."